Reflectons on the Sun God
by JAGNikJen
Summary: After seeing Nick Fallin's arrest on the news, psychologist Paige Montgomery reflects on her brief relationship with Nick back in college.


Disclaimer: I do not own The Guardian or Nicholas Fallin; Paige Montgomery, Meeghan Pettigrew, and Jana the receptionist do belong to me. I've earned nothing but the pleasure of the writing, and the possibility of some nice feedback.

~*~

**Reflections on the Sun God**

"Oh, my gosh…" Paige Montgomery sat straight up in her chair. Images of a ghostly familiar man being led through the courthouse in handcuffs played across the thirty-six inches of her TV screen. Grabbing her remote, she cranked up the volume.

"And today in Allegheny County, Nicholas Fallin, of Fallin & Associates, was arrested for possession of cocaine. Even though this is a first offense, this could find Mr. Fallin doing jail time. On the other hand, his father is Burton Fallin, founder of Fallin & Associates, one of the biggest and best law firms in the city. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

"In other news…"

Lowering the volume again, she collapsed back into the cushions. Nick Fallin arrested for drugs. He was one person whom she would never have expected to see in such a situation. Of course, she'd been pretty naïve back in college even though she was probably two years older than he was, give or take. And she could only imagine which of life's circumstances had set him on this path of self-destruction.

In college, he was charming and gallant and definitely good looking. More than good looking, actually, she'd somehow come to think of him as the Sun God. He had been so golden and beautiful....

_Professor Hardwick would be looking for her soon. Paige struggled down the long corridor as fast as she could, trying to balance the large stack of term papers she carried. Just as she passed Doctor Tyson's classroom, the door burst open and a stampede of bodies rushed passed her._

_In the rush, Paige lost her battle, and the top half of the stack went flying; papers scattered across the 15-foot expanse of the hall. _

"_Hey!" she called after the last few students. But no one paid attention. Paige looked around the mess and stamped her foot. She set down the remaining pile of papers and then started gathering up the papers strewn across the floor marked with foot prints. "Damn, damn, damn…" she muttered to herself. She would be late for sure._

"_Here, let me help you," said a voice from a doorway._

_Paige looked up, startled as much by the voice, as by the offer of help. She stared at the young man now bending down to help her and was struck by his beauty. Golden curls surrounded his head like a halo and a dusky fringe of lashes bordered his sea green eyes. The smell of some ridiculously expensive, but delicious smelling cologne drifted around her and her stomach loop-de-looped in response._

_She gasped softly when he smiled, his teeth white and even. "Wh-what? I'm sorry?" she asked, shaking her head._

"_I asked your name," he said._

"_I'm P-Paige. Paige Montgomery. And you are?"_

"_Nicholas Fallin. Nice to meet you, Paige."_

"_Nice to meet you, too. Thanks for the help," she replied._

_They worked in silence for another five minutes until all the papers had been collected. Nick helped pile the heap back into Paige's arms._

"_See ya," he said taking off down the hall and disappearing around the corner , going, of course, in the opposite direction that she was going._

"_Bye...." It was nothing more than a whisper in the silent hall._

_Visions of Nicholas Fallin plagued her the rest of the day. She struggled through the remainder of her classes, forcing herself to concentrate on what her professors were teaching. By the time she got home, her head was pounding. After popping a couple of pain relievers and enjoying a bowl of hot vegetable beef soup, Paige lay down on her sofa. Closing her eyes, she allowed their short interlude to play in an infinite loop in her mind._

_Never in her life had she met someone with such presence. She hardly knew him and yet there was something about him that wouldn't let her forget. She laughed out loud. There were more than 30,000 students enrolled at the University of Pittsburgh. The chances of her running into Nicholas Fallin again were slim and none._

And yet, the gods of fate seemed to be smiling on her that semester. Not three weeks later, their paths crossed again....

_Paige glanced anxiously at her watch before scanning the crowded club once more. Roger was supposed to have been here twenty minutes ago. Her friends had warned her about him, but she hoped they were wrong. Music blared from a speaker above her head, making it hurt._

_Paige chewed her bottom lip. This was the club of choice for the university's richest and snottiest students, of which Roger was one. She didn't really want to be stood-up in front of them. She should have listened to Erica and Lisa. God, she was such an idiot._

"_Hey. Sorry I'm late." _

_She looked up as Nicholas Fallin slid into the seat beside her._

"_My car wouldn't start," he said, leaning in and placing a kiss that landed on the edge of her mouth. Her stomach rolled._

"_What? What are you talking about?" Paige asked, heat suffusing her face._

"_Our date. I'm late; I'm sorry."_

"_Our what? We didn't have a da―"_

"S_ure we did. You were here waiting for me weren't you?" Nick asked, letting go a 100-watt smile. "You know what? Suddenly, I'm not in the mood for loud music and cigarette smoke. Shall we?" He indicated the exit just to the left._

_His hand burned its imprint on her shoulder as he led her to the door. Leaning in, he whispered unintelligibly in her ear as they passed a table where Meeghan Pettigrew sat. Meeghan was from one of the wealthiest families in the region and Paige had no desire to piss her off. She'd seen the damage Meeghan could do._

_Meeghan offered Paige a dirty look as they passed. Paige better watch her back for the rest of the year._

"_Why'd you do this?" Paige asked once they reached the parking lot, her breath condensating in the cold November air._

"_Why not? You needed the rescue and I needed to get Meeghan off my back. She's been after me for weeks now to go out with her, but she's really not my type."_

"_Rich?"_

_Nick shook his head. "Bitch."_

"_You've put me in her line of fire, now."_

"_Well, it's not as if we're really dating, right? And how often are you going to see her?"_

"_Three times a week; we have Philosophy together." Paige crossed her arms over her chest in irritation. "How'd you know I was going to be here?"_

_With a shrug, Nick said,_ "_I didn't. I came because Meeghan asked me and be―"_

"_You stood her up? Now she's really going to hate me."_

"_I never told her I was coming, but I got bored so I thought I'd check it out," Nick explained. "Then I saw you sitting over there, looking around like you were waiting for someone, and after twenty minutes, I figured he or she wasn't coming, so I stepped in."_

"_You were watching me for twenty minutes?" Paige asked in surprise._

"_Sure, I was."_

_Paige felt warm all over. "Why?"_

"_I don't know. You caught my eye, so I just watched. I figured you were waiting for someone by the way you kept looking around and checking your watch." Nick shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks. "Can I take you somewhere? Home or something?"_

_Nick slowed his sleek black 280ZX to a stop in front of Paige's building and looked up at the historical brick facade. "Wow, looks like 1880's. Nice place."_

"_Thanks. I really appreciate the ride. Would you like to come up for tea or something?"_

_He nodded and grinned. "Or something."_

_Paige jumped out of the car, flushing hotly at Nick's implication. The thirty-something temperature outside cooled her cheeks quickly, but her heart continued to race. Nick kept a respectful distance as he followed her into the building and up two flights of stairs to her small efficiency apartment on the third floor._

"_What can I get you?" Paige asked as she hung up their coats. "I'm not a coffee drinker, so all I've got is tea or hot chocolate." She moved through the small living room to the even tinier kitchen. "Have a seat."_

"_Chocolate will be fine," Nick said, getting comfortable on her over-stuffed sofa._

"_So what are you studying?" Paige asked over the half-wall that separated the kitchen from the living space._

"_Pre-law. You?"_

"_I'll graduate next June with a B.S. in psychology. Then I'll continue with my studies part-time while I begin my internship." Paige joined Nick on the couch and set two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table. "Are you going to finish your law degree here or―"_

_Nick leaned over and kissed her. Excitement raced through her, leaving her breathless. It wasn't deep, as kisses went, but it was Nicholas Fallin doing the kissing. And that alone had her senses reeling. Since that day in the hall, she'd fantasized about this very thing. _

_Ending the kiss, he sat back and said, "Probably NYU."_

_The moisture from Nick's kiss remained on her lips, and Paige longed to run her tongue along them, but was afraid of how it might seem. Paige just nodded and reached for her cocoa. She took a few sips to compose herself._

"_I gather you're going to stay here in Pittsburgh," he said._

_Paige set her cup on the table and turned to him, nodding. "My family's he―"_

_Nick kissed her again, slanting his mouth across hers, demanding entrance, which she freely gave. He tasted of toothpaste and bourbon. _

_Paige melted into the sofa as Nick pressed himself against her. Leaving her mouth, he trailed soft kisses down her neck and maneuvered her into a supine position. Reveling in the scent of his cologne and the weight of his body on hers, she acknowledged the pressure of his arousal against her thigh._

"_Paige…" His voice, while only a soft whisper against her skin, brought her back to reality._

"_Nick, wait."_

_He pulled back and looked at her. There was no question as to what he wanted from her. His breathing was a bit labored and his eyes wandered over her face, down to her chest rising and falling as she panted for breath, and back to her eyes._

_Was she crazy? She wanted him so badly, but she knew she was nowhere near ready to take this kind of step with a man―and he was a man in every sense of the word. This was no average college freshman straight out of high school._

"_What's wrong?" he asked, his voice gravelly with need._

"_I can't do this. I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression, but I'm not...I can't..." She scrambled to sit up, forcing him to get off her. "I, I just can't...I'm sorry."_

_Nick backed off and stood, adjusting himself and his slacks. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." He shrugged. "I'd better go. I'll see myself out."_

_Paige heard him grab his jacket out of the closet and then the click of her front door shutting. She was an idiot. She could have made love with him. She'd finally started hearing the girls at school, in all classes, talk about the aloof and elusive Nicholas Fallin. And he'd just been hers for the taking...why was she such a goody-goody. Why hadn't she just thrown caution to the wind and had one amazing night?_

_Paige rolled over and cried bitter hot tears._

A tingle of excitement rippled through Paige as she remembered what it was like to be wanted, even just for a few short minutes, by Nick Fallin. The news long over, she clicked off the TV. Weeks had passed while she hoped to hear from him, even though she knew it was unlikely. By Valentine's Day she acknowledged that it was never going to happen and then she'd moped for a couple more weeks, berating herself all the while for acting like a silly school-girl.

And then out of the blue, he'd shown up at her door. Paige smiled, remembering the day her best fantasy came true....

"_Just a minute!" Paige hollered from the kitchen in answer to the doorbell. She dusted her hands off on her jeans and went to answer the door._

"_Hey." Nicholas Fallin grinned at her from the doorstep._

_Her heart began pounding in her chest, and she was sure he could see the flush on her cheeks as she felt the heat creep up her face. "H-hey."_

"_I guess you're getting ready to graduate."_

"_I am." She nodded. Graduation was only three weeks away. "I'm the salutatorian."_

"_So __I heard. I brought you a gift."_

"_Oh, I...y__ou didn't have to get me anything. I mean, we hardly know each other and we haven't seen each other in months." Paige couldn't believe it―what was he doing here and with a gift, no less?_

"_May I__ come in?" he asked, his brows arcing in amusement._

"_God, I'm sorry. __Of course." She took a step backward to allow him entry. What was it about him that made her so stupid? "Excuse the mess."_

_She'd been packing in preparation of moving into a larger apartment closer to where her internship was._

_He stopped in the center of the living room._

_She crossed her arms. " So...to what do I owe the pleasure? I mean I haven't heard from you since that night. Not that I expected to or anything, but why now?"_

"_You scared me," he said, raking a hand through his hair and looking at her._

"I_ scared you?" she asked. "I was a scared mixed up girl. What was so scary about that?"_

"_No one ever turned me down before." He shrugged._

"_Really?" She found that really hard to believe._

"_Yeah. At first, I was pissed."_

Paige snorted. "Because I turned you down?"

_A sheepish grin appeared. "Yeah, I know. Pretty conceited, huh?"_

"_Just a bit, yeah." She didn't want to be affected by him again. The last time was enough, but he looked gorgeous standing there in snug fitting jeans and a white tee shirt. Her pulse picked up its pace and she sighed._

"_I'm sorry I never called you. I really was an ass, and I apologize."_

_She nodded and then looked down at Nick's outstretched hand._

_She accepted the small neatly folded packet of tissue paper he held out to her. "You didn't have to."_

"_No," he agreed. "But I wanted to."_

_She unfolded the purple floral tissue paper until she found the gift hidden within. "Oh my...it's beautiful, Nick. You shouldn't have. I can't accept this." She held the antique lapel watch back out to him._

"_I can't return it, so you may as well keep it. I want you to have it."_

_Paige looked down at the watch in her hand. "It's lovely. Thank you. I'll treasure it always." She wrapped it back up in the tissue paper and set in on the half-wall. "So how goes pre-law?"_

"_Fine. Good," he replied, his eyes sweeping up and down her body._

_She felt her body tighten in response, thankful her blouse camouflaged her reaction._

"_So...do you have your internship lined up?" he asked, his eyes focusing on her lips._

_She licked them without thinking, her heart suddenly pounding, her nerve endings tingling. It was amazing how he affected her so easily. "Um, yeah."_

"_Well, I guess I'd better go," Nick said. It came out sounding more like a question than a declaration. He waited a moment before moving past her toward the door._

_Paige took a deep breath before turning around. "Nick...?" she called just as he reached for the doorknob._

_He stopped and half turned to look at her._

"_Thank you for the watch."_

"_You already said that."_

"_I know. It's just that I've never done this before."_

"_Done what?"_

"_Asked a man to stay."_

"_Are you sure? 'Cause I don't know if I could handle another ending like the last one."_

_Paige blushed as she remembered how she had sent him away in a very advanced state of arousal. "I'm sorry about that. Really."_

_Nick came and stood in front of her, running his index finger down her nose and across her lips. "It's all right. I was just teasing you."_

_Paige closed her eyes at his touch. Her legs were beginning to feel like rubber. "I'm so―"_

_Nick swallowed her apology and took her in his arms. "I want to stay, Paige," he whispered into her ear. His hot breath sent flames licking throughout her body. "Can I stay?"_

"_Yes, I…" Her words vaporized at the feel of his hands brushing across her chest as he undid the buttons of her blouse and pushed it off her shoulders._

"_Where?" he whispered into her mouth._

"_Anywhere…."_

_Nick continued to undress her, lowering them to the floor. He quickly stripped off his own clothing and took his place between her legs. As he hovered over her, she remembered something. "Nick―"_

"_Paige, please…."_

"_No, it's not that…. But I… You might…"_

_He lowered himself, settling his weight on her gently, propping himself up on his elbows. "Are you going to make me leave?"_

_She shook her head._

"_Okay, then. What could be so urgent right now?"_

"_I'm a…I've never…this is…you're my…" She turned bright pink. God, she was pathetic._

_He looked at her as she stammered through her confession and his eyes widened when he realized what she had been trying to say. "Oh."_

"_I'm sorry. I should have told you before. If you want to go, I'll understand." She turned her face away as a tear slid down her temple._

Again, Paige wiped away the tears as she remembered how gentle he'd been in allaying her fears and in taking her virginity on the floor of her apartment, even to providing the protection. His soothing words and gentle hands had eased her entry into womanhood and left her with a memory she had always treasured. The way he accepted her initial cry of pain and turned it into moans of pleasure. He taught her, in that one afternoon, what giving really meant.

Paige sighed and glanced down at the watch pinned on her chest. It was way past her bedtime.

~*~

"Good morning, Jana." Paige greeted her receptionist. "When's my first appointment?"

"Actually, he's waiting in your office right now," Jana replied. "A last-minute appointment called in by the D.A."

And just like her college-senior self, Paige's heart began beating staccato. After watching the news three nights ago, Paige knew exactly who her latest client was. She took a deep breath and headed toward her door.

"I'm Dr. Montgomery," Paige said as she stepped inside. She held out her hand to Nick as he stood. As attractive as ever, although somewhat dimmer than the last time she'd seen him. Perhaps, with her help, he could shine brightly again.

He nodded.

Paige slipped off her jacket, hanging it and her purse on the coat tree in the corner.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Fallin?" Paige took a seat at her desk and folded her hands on the blotter.

Nick retook his seat. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the lapel watch pinned to Paige's shoulder. "Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"A very special man gave it to me a long time ago," she said and watched as the light dawned in his eyes.

"Me."

She nodded.

"You still have it."

"Of course."

"It was my mother's."

"What?"

"I thought the name Paige Montgomery sounded familiar."

"Wait. This belonged to your mother?"

He nodded.

"And you gave it to me?"

He nodded again.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted you to have it."

"Shouldn't you have saved this for your wife or something?"

"No."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I got busted for drug possession and use, and the D.A. wants me to have a few sessions with a psychologist."

"I'm not sure that you should have come to me for that."

"Why not?"

"I don't think I can be objective."

"You haven't seen me in over ten years."

Except for last night in her dreams. She sighed.

"What?" he asked.

And as perceptive. Paige shook her head. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing."

"This is going to be complicated."

"My life is full of complications," he said with a grin. "What's one more?"

~ Fin ~

16


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